By Victor Edegbai
It was a friday morning, sometime around 9 am. I remember very well because of this overzealous church behind my office that holds miracle service every friday morning. I cannot forget the resounding wailing of “DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE” that the members of the church (who frankly should be at work) were emitting.
My receptionist called through the intercom “Sir there is a lady here to see you. There is no previous appointment, I have asked her to book an appointment, but she insists on seeing you”
I asked my receptionist “Is she a Police person?”. I dont know why my mind will go to Police. My receptionist affirmed that she is a bloody civilian like me. I could almost hear her suppressing her laughter on the intercom. I asked her to let the lady in.
A tall and fair girl stood in front of my door as I said “come in”. She was beautiful, big enough to qualify as what ladies refer to as THICK. I quickly put her age between 24 and 26. She was wearing a gown made from yellow and flowered Ankara with a combination of green lace material for the sleeves. The gown stopped just above her knees, revealing a perfect set of smooth legs. I am sure she realised that I was sizing her up as she smiled and greeted. I asked her to sit down. She did. My first impression was that this is a well behaved, well brought up beautiful lady, until her crase began to manifest when she started speaking.
“Sir my name is Ella. I sell stuff which I think you will need”. I thought to myself. “they have come, these bed sheet and perfume girls. But let me indulge her “
She continued, obviously oblivious to my thoughts “I have oil perfumes”. JUST AS I PREDICTED “I have slippers , and I also have erotic oil for Dick enlargement, and sir I am sure you will need that” she said smiling. I sat up on my chair. “what makes you feel I need dick enlargement oil” I asked. “Sir, all men needs it, so that they can satisfy their women” . “woman” I chipped in, trying to let her know that I have a wife and I dont have women “well” I continued, “I admire your poise and courage to market your products. But I wont be buying any. My wife buys my stuff and as for the dick cream or oil, I certainly like my dick the way it is”. “But how are you sure madam likes it the way it is?” she cut in. “Oh she does, I assure you” I responded “my wife is very expressive . She likes the way I do my work. If she didnt, she would have told me”. The lady was not going to give up easily. In her mind, I have to sell this oil by fire by force. So she asked “Sir, if your wife is okay, how about your side chick?”. My jaw dropped like the broken jaw of the ass Samson used in slaying philistines. There was a voice in my head all of a sudden telling me “which kain set up be dis na”. So I decided to play along. “I dont have a side chick” I responded. “Ah. Every man does oh. Who will now be assisting your wife to release your steam.” She said. “well” I responded “I dont know about every man. For me, I dont have. I dont need that kind of distraction in my heavenly calling”.
Then I sat up on my chair and said to her “look, whoever you are. I think it’s time for you to go. I have work to do”. She got up and said
“Sir, dont be like that na, it is still you people that will say girls dont want to work or do anything. I am just here trying to hustle to get something to eat. Is it a bad thing for me to try to sell what people need ? “
TO BE CONTNUED
NaijaNoiseMakers says “This Grandpa sef,….always creating suspense. Drop a line for him in the comment section.”
Barr. Victor Edegbai AKA Grandpa is a father of many nations, positive thinker, and friend of many. I like trouble, because I be lawyer.