meet Idris, a young boy who is living
with his friend, Donflex also known as
Just like every other young boys, they
tried all their best to make it in life.
They engaged in all types and sort of
unthinkable job just to make earns meet
but all was to no avail..
Their stupidess and stubbornness made
them cross path with killer, a notorious
gangster in the city of Niger state.
Filled with rage on what Idris and Flex
did to his girlfriend, he decided to take
his revenge on them but little did he
know that he was in for the disgrace of
Watch how Idris and flex skillfully made
it through all their challenges in life but
something, something went wrong. That
was when they decided to engage into
What happened next? Find out in the
this exciting comedy story named TALES
OF TWO FUNNY RITUALIST.
LOCATION: NIGER STATE
I stood up lazily from my bed and yawned.
Chaiii, na new day be this oo. New day of
the week. Monday don come with him
wahala oo. God forbid, Monday don come
with him riches. Na so our pastor say
make we dey prophecy.
Me: *tapping Donflex* oboy, oboy wake up.
Flex: *stretching lazily on the bed* na
wetin. Abeg leave me to rest.
Me: you dey craze! Na farm work you do
through out the night wey be say you want
Flex: Idris! Idris! Idris!!
Me: why you dey Idris me. Abeg stand up
oo.. You know say we go go work today?
Flex: i know na but make i rest small.
Me: no prob i dey come.
I went to a little cupboard were pepper and
other little things we used in cooking
including pots were kept.
I know you will be thinking why we kept
our kitchen equipment in a cupboard but it
was because of we live in a real face me i
face you house. I mean real face me i tear
you hot slap house with different
characters including different language.
Toilet we dey share, infact the kind house
wey we dey live in you no go pray for your
enemies to live inside.
Enemy too small self, your nemesis!
Ubong: *shouting* hey!!! Halima!
Me: hahaha, i know he will complain about
Halima not putting enough perewinko in his
I thought to myself.
Ubong: where my delicious and God
blessed isam dey?
Me: toor, dem don start be that oo. But
wetin dey worry ubong self? If you want eat
perewinko well well, you no go marry Edet
or any other calabar girl? No wow o!
I said to myself as i was busy mixing
pepper and cold water to pour on Donflex.
Me: na so dem go dey disturb person for
yard. Which kind wahala be that. You
marry hausa girl dey expect isam.
I said as the couples were lashing each
others with bad mouths, insults and the
I walked inside and true to God, infact i
swear to God, Donflex get luck. I for pour
am my mixture of pepper and cold water.
Flex: wetin dey inside that plate na.
He said sitting on our patch patch bed.
Me: na water wey i won use brush my
Flex: hmm, this ubong and him wife self.
Me: forget about them jare. Leave sleeping
dog to lie.
I said as i stylishly went outside and threw
the water and pepper mixture.
Time check 7:05am
we hurriedly brush our teeth, took our bath
after waiting for out turn respectively.
Me: oboy, we don dey late for work o.
Flex: na true oo. No time to soak garri
drink. Make we prepare go..
We dressed in our Italian suit (no be
original one oo but the suit cost us
thousand of nairas. We dey use the suit for
church and to toast girls)
we polished our black costly shoes, put on
wrist watch and combed our hair before
leaving for work.
We go to Kaduna road, a major express
way in Niger state where we sat down
beside the road, tied our eyes and brought
out a cardboard paper with this
inscriptions written on it..
“DO NOT FORSAKE THE BLIND. HELP THE
NEEDY AND OUR GOOD LORD SHALL HELP
YOU IN RETURN. THANKS AND GOD
what happened next?
To be continued
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