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It was 9pm on the 30th of April on thursday
night, I was so tired
after the day’s job. I left the office at around
5pm after closing for
the day. I left with a parcel which was sent from
abuja to one Mr
femi who used to be our regular clients and I was
chosen to
deliver the package to him in his house as it was
my new job and
first delivery. He actually arranged for an home
delivery with my
branch manager. I was given the address and
description to his
house and also his phone number. I went to his
house after
closing of the day but he wasn’t at home. I called
him to inform
him about his package and he told me to keep it
till the following
day an bring it to his house. From there, I went
to adenike’s
house who happened to be my new girl friend
who lived very
close to Mr femi’s area. I got there at 6:38pm
and dropped my
“back-bag” ontop of her bed. I was relaxing wen
she was
offloading my bag to find the fruit I brought for
her. The parcel
was inside an enveloped wrapped in a polythene
bag which I put
in my bag with adenike’s fruits, my mini-laptop
and some other
items. I went outside to purchase recharge card
and before I
came back inside, she had re-arranged the bag
we had romance
and made love together till 8pm that I left her
place for my
I entered my room, prepared a spiced spaghetti
for dinner,
proceed to the bathroom and had a shower. At
10:45pm, I picked
my android phone, inserted an earpiece into it
and plugged it into
my ear to listen to music. That was how I slept
off while music
was blasting into my ear.
A small stone hit me on my head while sleeping
and it actually
woke me up, I managed to strain my sleepy eye
and open it, the
next thin I saw was a gun pointing to me from
the back of my
window. On seeing the gun, my eyes opened
wide. ***I saw that
the net behind my window was torn with blade
and the
aluminium window was forced opened with an
iron rod, the
burglary inside wasn’t tampered with . All this
happened while I
was sleeping with music blasting into my ears**.
A thick voice
answered from outside.
THEIF: ogbeni, stand up ***with gun pointing
towards me***
ME: ***i passed a hot urine instantly***
THEIF: do you want to die?
ME:: **shielvering** no sir!!!!.
THEIF: if you know you don’t want to die, just
don’t make any
noise and shut up.
ME: ok sir!!!***holding my lips and passed
another urine as I was
looking at the gun*****
THEIF: now stand up and open your door.
People are out there
waiting. If you make any noise, I will blast your
head from the
ME: ok sir!!!, I stood up and opened the door.
Forcefully, 2 huge guys and a lady entered and
push me away.
” Face the ground!!!!”
Yes sir
“If you look up, I blast you”
Yes sir
They searched everywhere, opened my bag and
took my phones
and laptop while I was still facing down.
LADY THEIF: where is the parcel you brought
home today?
ME: ***the voice sound so familiar but I couldn’t
figure it out****
I didn’t have any parcel sir ma**stammering**
LADY THEIF: **points gun at my head** ogbeni,
look up and see
the death on your head. If you don’t tell me
where the package is,
I will blast your head to pieces.
ME: I passed another hot urine again. This time,
the voice was
getting more familiar, I manage to look up at the
lady thief.
“Whaaattttt!. It was labake, my Ex-girl friend of
3years at the
Our eyes met. She was marvelled and I was
amazed, I wanted to
call her name. As I opened my mouth to talk,
labake landed a
heavy slap on my face “gbosaaaa”. I fell flat on
the floor,
LABAKE: guys let’s go, there is nothing like what
we are looking
for in this room.
*******FLASH BACK*******************
Throughout my first year in the university, I never
had any
girlfriend and still a virgin. I was so shy and
timid that I don’t
have the nerves to approach any girl. My friends
helped me with
scripts and manuals on how to approach a lady
but I keep failing
at every attempt. I maintained my single life style
throughout my
100level days.
On the day economics department was to have
their dinner, Bayo
my neighbour who was the departmental social
director told me
to attend it and have fun.
ME: Bayo, u know I don’t like parties?
BAYO :”Guy, no dey dull yourself”
ME: Hope there won’t be any violence?
BAYO: “Violence as how?”
ME: I heard cultist always seize the medium to
initiate people
into fraternity.
BAYO: u dey talk because you never attend any
dinner before.
Guy flex jaree.
ME: hmmmmmmm
BAYO: you might even find a girlfriend there sef
ME: girl friend? **raised eyebrow***
BAYO: yes na, girls in economics department na
ME: but I don’t have a ticket, how do I enter
BAYO: sebi na me be social director, I go carry
you inside.
8pm, I took a cab and went to the event hall and
waited at the
entrance as instructed by bayo. Minutes later,
different girls were
flowing inside the hall in a mini-skirts and dinner
revealing their front and back assets. Few girls
that I knew
among them who were not cute in the day-time
appeared to be
prettier and sexier at night. I was carried away
by the things I
was seeing and I decided to position a plastic
chair very close to
the entrance of the hall to have more better
At 9pm, the crowd had increased, smokes of
cigarette and weed
were all over everywhere that I began to choke. I
was marvelled
on seeing some group of ladies smoking. ladies
were sitting on
guys lap and smooching at every corner.
At few minutes to 10pm, Bayo arrived in a
departmental bus
along side with other excos. Everyone in the hall
were told to
move out and line up. Bayo and other excos was
at the entrances
of the hall checking people’s tickets before
allowing them to
enter with the help of the cadets and man-o-war
group. people
who had no ticket was restricted from entering.
After the whole
screening exercise, I called bayo and he came to
meet me where
I was and I followed him inside the hall.
At 12am, the whole place was noisy, girls were
dancing and
tweaking at every corner with random guys. I
could hear moans
in the darkest parts behind the auditorium.
Smokes were all over,
music was at the loudest volume. I just sat down
eating my rice and sipping coke. I have no one to
dance with.
Bayo was dancing with a fair lady at one corner
and our eyes
met. He felt disappointed on seeing me sitting
alone and he came
over to where I was.
BAYO: guy, why you dey dull yourself now, find
one babe and
dance with na.
ME: I no get anyone to dance with, and you
know say I dey shy.
BAYO: mtcheeeeew. Wait for me I dey come.
Bayo went away and returned with the girl she
was dancing with.
BAYO: Baby, meet my friend onihaxy
ME: **stretching out my hand towards her and
my heart was
beating heavily**** my name is onihaxy
LADY: I’m labake****stretched her hands also
and we shook
ME: its nice meeting you
LADY: you are welcome.
BAYO: labake, pls keep my friend busy and
dance with him, my
attention is needed somewhere, I have to go.
LABAKE: ok bayo,
Bayo left us there and disappeared, I was looking
at labake’s
face and I was shy to make a dance move . DJ
changed the track
to “burn it up” by Rkelly. Before I knew it, labake
stood up and
started twerking infront me and shaking her killer
as$ infront of
me, I took the courage not to spoil the show and
I stood up and
danced with her.
*******STORY LINE*****************
After the departure of labake and her gang after
the robbery, I
managed to stand up and sit down. I flashed
back to the incident
and I was asking my self questions. “Was that
my own labake
that I dated for 3years?, armed robber?, how
I began to wonder how they found me?, what
was special about
the parcel they were asking for?, how do they
got to know I have
a parcel to deliver?, why did they emphasised on
parcel?. Did
labake actually slapped me?. I began to ask
questions and no
one was with me to provide answers, everything
seems to be like
a dream to me.
I remembered labake saying there was no parcel
in my room.
“But I came home with this thing?” . I stood up
and picked my
bag, I removed everything left inside of it and the
parcel was no
where to be found. No phone to communicate
my girlfriend to ask
her maybe I left it in her place..
Till 8am, I couldn’t got out of my room, I was so
scared and my
room was smelling urine. When I heard the
voices of my
neighbours, it was then I had the courage to
come out. I went to
meet my neighbours to relate my last night
experience to them
and I was surprised to realize that I was the only
person robbed.
Even my next apartment neighbour said he never
heard any
sound or voice all through the operation. I was
I borrowed phone from one of my neighbour who
has 2 phones,
and I inserted my into it to call my girlfriend but
her number
wasn’t reachable.
What is going on?, friday was public holiday
(May 1st) and I
wasn’t going to work. About 2 minutes after
trying Adenike’s
number and it wasn’t reachable, a text message
came in from an
unknown number.
“Incase you found your sim at your entrance, call
me immediately
on this line for your own safety, if you try any
funny by involving
a 3rd party, YoU WILL BE DEAD”.
I was so scared, what have I done wrong?, who
could this be?. I
checked my account balance and I had N133.22
on my phone. I
decided to dial the number out of fear.
ME: hello
FEMALE VOICE: onihaxy, its me.
ME: ***i had goose pimples immediately****I
recognised the
voice instantly as labake’s own.
FEMALE VOICE: I was the one who dropped your
sim at your door
ME: **still trembling***. Ok ma
FEMALE VOICE: thank your creator that you
didn’t succeeded in
mentioning my name last night before I shut you
up with a slap,
you would have been a dead man by now.
ME: thanks ma.
FEMALE VOICE: don’t use Ma for me abeg. Meet
me at alagbaka
round- about and 11am on dot. If you still want
to be alive, don’t
be late for a seconds, don’t involve or inform
anyone and you
should not try anything funny, otherwise, only
one bullet will
make your relative patronise a coffin seller. For
your information,
my surveillance is monitoring you at every
seconds. ***hanged
I was shivering seriously after the call, what did I
do wrong?, is
labake trying to set me up?, should I trust her?,
should I involve
the police?, but if I should do so, how do I go
about it?, what if
this people are monitoring me?.
I summoned the courage, put on my cloths, at
10am that I came
out of my room, none of my neighbours was
around, there was no
one I could deliver a message to. I dashed out of
the house and
proceeded to the venue where I will meet labake..
During the dinner party, I got to chat with labake
and got to know
her. She was in 100level,economics department
and she lived in
the hostel and she based in lagos. I asked about
her relationship
with bayo and she told me that bayo was her
school father and a
good friend back in secondary school. I saved
labake’s number
on my phone that night and enjoyed dancing
with her as she was
always hitting her as$ on my Joystick at
Throughout the following week, I still don’t have
the nerves to
ask her out, all I do is just calling her twice or
thrice a day. 3
weeks after the dinner we began to exchange
visits. Bayo would
motivate me several times to face labake and
“talk the talk” but I
just don’t have the courage to do such as I had
never dated any
girl in my life and my level of shyness is another
dimension. We
closed for the session and we left school.
Throughout the holiday, I was always busy
chating with labake
all the time. We would talk about everything and
even irrelevant
issues just to while away boredom. As the days
went by, our
friendship began to grow gradually to the extent
that we were so
fond of each other. Even my family was aware of
it that there was
someone taking my attention all the time. I would
send several
romantic poems to labake and she would reply
them, she would
call me in the morning and nights and I do return
the calls too. I
don’t need a soothsayer to tell me before I knew
I was in love.
But the big challenge was how to “talk the talk”.
School resumed for new session and we were
both back to
campus. I spent all my pocket money and my
inflated school fees
on new cloths, watch, chain, perfumes, trousers
and shoes just to
look good at my own best to labake. My friends
and bayo were
surprised to see the way I hanged out with
labake and how we
are always together throughout our registration
process. Friends
were hailing me for finally having a girl in my life.
Not just a girl
but a fair pretty damsel with an average height,
killer a$$ and
beautifully big oranges. Only her smiles could
melt an Ice. The
dimple on her chick added more to her beauty.
When lecture started in school, I will always go
to labake’s
department whenever I don’t have lectures. I
would spend most
of my time hanging around with labake. It was
so obvious among
our circle that we were the latest hot friends on
campus. I began
to have more competitors and many guys are
also trying all
means to date her. Weeks after week, the bond
was growing and
our visitations was increasing that even bayo the
himself couldn’t believe it when he was seeing
labake in our
compound almost everytime.
2 months into the new session, labake became
the best thing that
ever happened to me, I couldn’t stand 30minutes
communicating with labake. I took my courage,
did a lot of
rehearsals and homework on how to ask her out.
I took the bold
step and asked her out, I was shocked when she
said “ONIHAXY,
don’t stress yourself, It can’t happen, let’s just
continue our
I asked why she turned me down and she made
me to realize
that she wasn’t interested in any relationship for
now because
she wanted to concentrate on her studies and
build her GP and
also take more time to heal her broken heart.
The more I
convinced labake, the more she was declining. At
a point, she
threatened to break our friendship if I didn’t stop
pestering her on
dating. It took the intervention of Bayo and her
friends before
labake finally agreed to date me starting from the
beginning of our second semester.


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